On the first day of Christmas…

Seasons Greetings!

As it’s that time of year for gifts, I’ve one for my readers – a festive tale of spankings to come for a certain young lady.

On the first day of Christmas….

 

While he was away, he sent his lover a Christmas gift each day.

25th Dec

Dearest,

I’m just writing to thank you for the wooden ruler. I expect it will come in useful, although quite what for I’m not sure since I’m more than capable of drawing straight lines. You hinted, before you left, that you wished me to find the right path during your absence, especially after our last little tete-a-tete about my attitude. I’m working very hard on this and will spend today thinking about it, as I have my nails manicured and my eyebrows plucked. Don’t work too hard over the festive season. I wouldn’t want you to come home tired.

Happy Christmas!

Your beloved.

26th Dec

Dearest,

Two matching hair hairbrushes. How thoughtful. I’m not sure why you needed to engrave the back of them with the words ‘left’ and ‘right’. I’m not a horse and don’t require grooming with both hands at the same time. However, they do look pretty on my dressing table. One on the left, the other on the right.

How is the hotel? Not too grubby I hope?

Your beloved.

27th Dec

Dearest,

I’m somewhat bemused by the three coat-hangers. I assume this is a reference to your remark about my tendency to scatter my clothing on the bedroom floor. I shall dash upstairs and deal with the matter after I have spoken to my sister in Australia. We have so much catching up to do.

Your beloved.

28th Dec

Dearest,

I know I’m not very good at gardening, and I did apologise for pulling out your mother’s geraniums believing them to be weeds, but I’m not entirely convinced four gardening gloves, complete with rubber palms for grip, are going to help me learn horticulture, especially as they are MANSIZED!

But, thank you anyway.

Your beloved.

29th Dec

Dearest,

Now this is more like it. Five gold rings. But I am a little confused as they are obviously earrings – why not an even number? I will keep them safe for now.

Which reminds me, I bought an itsy gift for myself – a pearl necklace.  You always said I had a dainty neck.

Your beloved.

30th Dec

Dearest,

So you still haven’t forgiven me for that tiny temper tantrum I threw when I lost at ping-pong while playing with those lovely friends of yours from the club. Six table tennis bats will certainly come in handy for all those practice sessions I need.

Is there much opportunity for you to relax? Obviously not, since you haven’t replied to my messages. I shall go to bed now with the dog to keep me company.

Your beloved.

31st Dec

Dearest,

Your choice of gift has perplexed me. I don’t need seven leather belts and more especially, they would fit around your waist better than mine, as I pointed out to you, your belly has expanded recently… oh dear, perhaps I’d best not go there. I shall leave them in your wardrobe.

Your beloved.

1st Jan

Dearest,

I appreciate my cooking skills lag somewhat behind your mother’s and I do have a tendency to quaff several glasses of wine over the stove, but please explain to me why I need eight wooden spoons? One for each saucepan? Do you want me to buy more saucepans, is that what you’re suggesting? I do wonder sometimes what is going through your head.

I shall leave them in a kitchen drawer and open a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

Your beloved.

2nd Jan

Dearest,

Your latest gift is most unusual. I warrant if we had rugs throughout the house, nine carpet beaters would be handy, but we don’t. I will take the hint that the house needs sprucing up in preparation for your return and call in a cleaner. The beaters will hang in the garage until further notice.

Your beloved.

3rd Jan

Dearest,

Did you expect me to decorate the house in your absence? It’s the holidays and the thought of paint brushes and pots of paint cluttering a clean house does not seem an appropriate way to spend my time. I shall put the ten paint stirrers to one side and assume you will be doing that job when you return.

I’m trying very hard to understand what is the meaning behind your gifts. I will retire to the hair salon and spend a few hours readying myself for your much anticipated return.

Your beloved.

4th Jan

Dearest,

It is winter. It might be warmer where you are visiting, but here the ground is frozen solid. The eleven bamboos sticks and twine I assume are for planting in the vegetable patch, perhaps for sweet peas? Why else would you send me them? As I pointed out in my earlier message, I am not keen on gardening. I will bundle them up and leave them in the garden shed for your mother. It will keep her busy in the spring.

I’m going shopping today. It seems I shall have to think of some more suitable gifts for myself as you seem to be failing miserably.

That being said, I do miss you.

Your beloved.

5th Jan

Dearest,

We don’t own a horse, so gracious, what am I suppose to do with the twelve riding crops?

Your beloved.

 

13th day of Christmas.

Dearest Mother.

My wife and I cordially invite you around for dinner. My wife is in the kitchen at this moment, feverishly working hard to prepare a feast for us. I took heed of your advice and the situation has been resolved. The gifts I sent her over the twelve days of Christmas have now been put to use in their entirety and any confusion on her part about their purpose has been cleared up.

Your beloved son.

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2 thoughts on “On the first day of Christmas…

  1. Thank you Jaye, what a wonderful holiday tale, enjoyed this 🙂 Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas.

    Hugs
    Roz

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